Wine of the Week

Here’s The Ultimate List Of Wines I Hate

Steer Clear of These Wines At All Costs

For this week’s Wine of the Week, I’m doing something different. If you’re new to my column, every Wednesday I a review a wine that I absolutely love and recommend. This week, I’m giving you a list of wines I tried to love but ended up dumping down the drain.

Before we go any further, please keep in mind these are just my opinions, we all have different tastes! I am not a Sommelier, just a regular ol’ wine drinker with big opinions. So if you enjoy these wines, I would love to know why in the comments!

Let’s get into the top 10 wines I absolutely avoid in no particular order:

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Line 39 Sauvignon Blanc

First up, Line 39 Sauvignon Blanc. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Line 39. In fact, I absolutely love their Cabernet (read me rave about it here!). However, this Sauvignon Blanc didn’t do it for me. It’s highly rated which is why I picked it up, however there was WAY too much grapefruit making this wine taste almost bitter. I have the same complaints about Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc which is also super highly rated.

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Hess Select Chardonnay

I had recently heard about how great this chardonnay was and found it for $10 so I thought, why not? Man, what a mistake. I couldn’t even finish one glass of this, it was quite possibly the worst chardonnay I’ve ever had. It tastes synthetic and heavy, with almost no fruit flavor at all. For this price range, there are other chardonnays that sweep the floor with Hess Select.

Good Fucking Rose

This is the perfect example of false advertising. This is one of those wines you pick up just because of the label. However, this was in fact not “good fucking rose” no matter how much the name tries to deceive you. I picked it up because of it’s peachy, strawberry, cherry notes that people seemed to pick up on. This came off lacking any fruit flavor and being very watery.

Voga Pinot Grigio

This one was recommended to me by the cashier of my favorite wine store, so I gave it a try. Plus, I’m a sucker for unique packaging. But this one had no qualities of a pinot grigio. It was bitter, the coloring was watery and it smelled horrendous.

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Prophecy Buttery Chardonnay

Another example of why we don’t pick wine based on the label. My boyfriend picked this one up for me because the label is so freaking cool. And I wanted to love it so much, but it was wayyyy too buttery. It literally tasted like musk and a stick of butter. Pass.

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Replica Misbehaved Pinot Noir

Another one that we picked because of the label. My boyfriend absolutely despises this pinot noir. It’s tart and super overpowering. And the wine bottle is way too light to preserve the wine properly. Listen, Mark is a firm believer of not letting a single drop of wine go to waste no matter how terrible it is. So if this one is undrinkable to him, take my word for it.

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Carroll’s Mead Sweet Honey Wine

This is something that you should really only drink at the Renaissance Faire and nowhere else. It’s 8% abv which is basically a beer. And it’s absolutely disgusting. It’s super sweet, it tastes like watered down honey with a hint of wine screaming in the background. There’s really no pluses with this one.

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Apothic Red Blend

Apothic is one of those companies where I either absolutely love their wine or absolutely hate it. There’s no inbetween. Although I love their white blend (check out why here!), their red blend is another story. This tastes like cheap dark chocolate and maple syrup. You’ve been warned. Bonus: Their rose is also terrible, steer clear unless you like the taste of artificial plastic strawberries!

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Line 39 Excursion Red Blend

Another red blend fail! Like I mentioned before, Line 39 makes some great wines…this just isn’t one of them. This wine is so sweet and alcohol-y. Major cheap wine and next day headache vibes.

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19 Crimes Hard Chard

I should’ve known this wasn’t good by the color of the wine when I poured it in a glass. It literally was dark and cloudy like apple juice. Someone online said it tastes like bug repellent and that is so accurate. This is another one of those wines that I had high hopes of because I really like their “Sauvignon Block”.

What do you guys think of the wines I absolutely hate? Which wines make it to your undrinkable list? Let me know in the comments below! 🍷

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