From An Identical Twin Herself #Twinning
I would like to consider myself an expert on identical twins since, well, I’m one myself. My twin sister, Xhesika (pronounced Jessica) and I have gotten all of the questions you can think of on what it’s like to be an identical twin. So here are all the answers you ever wanted to know about twins:
1. There is a rivalry between identical and fraternal twins.
Us identical twins definitely feel like the blueprint and that we are the “OG” twins. A lot of identical twins don’t consider fraternal twins to even be “real” twins since they share the same DNA as regular siblings while identical twins share 100% of the same DNA. And lots of fraternal twins hate identical twins for that reason.
2. “How do you know you’re identical?”
Um…I literally can’t tell who I am in my own baby pictures. That’s a big tell-tale sign if you ask me. But scientifically speaking, my sister and I shared a placenta and even held hands in one of our sonograms 🥺 and only identical twins can share a placenta.
3. “But you don’t look identical to me.”
When people get to know us, they see our differences and individual traits and don’t just see us as “twins” anymore. Xhes and I don’t even think we look identical, we think we just look like sisters.
4. “Can your boyfriends tell you apart?”
Our boyfriends get extremely aggravated at this question. Of course they can! And before you ask, our boyfriends do not find the other twin attractive. My boyfriend could not imagine dating my sister instead of me because we look so different to him and our personalities are very different as well.
5. “Did you guys ever fight over a guy?”
Girl…guys fought over us. Next.
6. “Can you feel each other’s pain?”
Emotionally, yes. We are very empathetic to each other and can feel if the other is stressed or having a bad day even if we’re not face to face. But physically? Of course not!
7. “Is twintuition real?”
YES. Twintuition is when you and your twin are intuitively aligned with each other and can pretty much finish each others sentences. However, it goes beyond that. I’ll say something random and my sister will say she was just thinking that, or I’ll randomly sing a song that’s stuck in my head and my sister will say she was just singing that in her head.
8. “Do you like the same stuff?”
Yes and no. Like all siblings, we’re alike in some ways and very different in others.
9. “Can you tell what your sister is thinking right now?”
Yes, she’s thinking that you’re stupid for asking that 🙂
10. “Did your mom go through IVF treatments to have twins?”
First off, IDK why people think asking personal questions like this is ok. However, the answer is no. My mom gave birth to us in a post-communist Albania where prenatal vitamins weren’t even a thing, so yea in vitro was definitely out of the question.
11. “Do you share clothes?”
Nope. We have our own wardrobes but we do borrow stuff from each other. Buttttt we do have some pieces of clothing and accessories that are exactly the same, either by accidentally buying the same thing or seeing the item on our twin and buying the same thing for ourself.
12. “Do you fight a lot?”
Nope. We fight like regular ol’ siblings, usually about dumb stuff.
13. “Who’s older?”
Me by 5 minutes. This is a debated topic. Tons of people say the age difference between multiples doesn’t affect anything but I disagree. I am older and very much feel middle child syndrome (we also have an older sister. Hi Ina!), and my twin Xhes definitely is treated like the youngest child.
14. “Wait, you have another sister? How does she feel about having twin sisters? Do you like your twin more???”
I think she likes having twin sisters. But IDK you’d have to ask her! And no, I don’t like or love Xhes more. Xhes and I get along better at times because we’re so genetically alike, but I love them both the same. And they both get on my nerves then same.
15. “Which twin is the good twin? Which one is the evil twin?”
If you ask our mother, I’m the evil twin. But this question is so annoying please stop asking this!!
16. “Do twins run in your family?”
Nope, we’re identical. Identical twins are by chance, fraternal are genetic.
17. “Do you and your twin have a secret language?”
Nope. Literally probably one set of twins in history did this and for some reason it stuck as a stereotype.
18. “Which is which?”
I absolutely hate this question. If you ask this, you are making us feel like objects and not people. Instead, ask “are you Arlea or Xhesika”. It’s that simple people.
19. “Is there a way I can tell you apart?”
When we were younger I would always wear pink and Xhes would always wear blue. But as adults? You’re just gonna have to get to know us. There’s no cheat code sorry.
20. “Do you ever switch places?”
That is SO much work and the embarrassment I would feel if I were caught isn’t worth it. Plus I don’t want to work her corporate job for her, sorry Xhes! However, if people in public ask if we’re twins we say no to confuse the hell out of them.
21. “Can you tell yourself apart?”
One time, someone asked if we can tell ourselves apart if we both stand next to each other in front of a mirror. UM.
22. “Do you guys do the same thing at the same time?”
We are two completely separate human beings, not marionette puppets. So no.
23. “Do you hate sharing a birthday?”
Nope! Sometimes it’s hard to plan a party because we want to do different things, but that just means we can have multiple parties. And there’s always 2 cakes 🙂
24. “Would you marry twins?”
Absolutely not. Something about that creeps us out.
25. “Would you get married on the same day?”
Hell to the no. Would you share a wedding with your sibling? We share a birthday, we’re allowed to have a special day just to ourselves.
26. “Do you like having a twin?”
I wouldn’t have it any other way
Can you tell us apart? Let me know in the comments below! 👯♀️